Take off. I gotta "re-educate" some of the brothers!

OK so I think its really bizarre that I titled my last entry ‘wooder’ and then last night had another wooder related incident. It scares me.

A lot. (but more on that later)

Yesterday morning I poured myself a tall glass of ice wooder (which I was really looking forward to after a Sunday afternoon/night filled with Clan and Cokes and 25 oz lagers) only to find it tasting like a rusty penny that was once cleaned with harsh astringents and then rusted back over. It was awful. I then noticed that my dog wouldn’t even touch his wooder bowl. I got in the shower and tried to bath myself using this stink which was an epic failure.
I figured I would go to work and if the problem was still there when I got home I would have to make some calls. So I get home and of course the wooder still stinks like the rot of death so I do what any white privileged individual does in a situation like this.

I call 411.

I tell the automated voice I am looking for the Downingtown Wooder Authority. Unfortunately she couldn’t understand me so I get passed off to Maria. Maria proceeds to ask me if I’m looking for the Downingtown W-O-O-D-E-R Authority. She actually spelled wooder out like I needed the Brawny man to show up with an axe and form fitting jeans to take care of me. Yes Maria, that’s what I want the Downingtown Wooder Authority. See Maria, that’s why you are answering information calls and I have a home with a wooder problem.

The difference being the capacity for deductive thought and logical reasoning.

I finally get in touch with the Wooder Authority only to find out I’ve missed them due to their ultra convenient hours of 7-3. Good work guys! So Kristen made the trek out to pick up some bottled wooder while I got to feed Krazy K his string beans, give him a (stinky) bath and read one of my personal favorites, Just Like Daddy. It was pretty much the most killer night of all time.

Well I still don’t have any semblance drinkable wooder so calls will be made this morning. Although I did read that there was a new beheading in The Land That Time Forgot (the middle east) so I really hope the two aren’t connected. I mean it would be logical to start with a senseless beheading and then move on to the wooder supply of my quiet Hamlet of Downingtown.

Oh well…….
Off to make some calls.

And I almost forgot. I saw two movies this weekend.
Zack and Miri- B
Benjamin Button- A+

Both were really good and much better than I expected. Kevin Smith made an adult comedy with all the juvenile humor that I love. Then David Fincher knocked it out of the park. I mean I thought Alien 3 and Panic Room were good but Benjamin Button was better than both. ( I know its hard to believe but its true!) I came up with this really cool line that I was planning on wowing all of my friends and co-workers with when describing Benjamin Button. Here it is, “It was a more mature Forrest Gump mixed with the over-the-top fantasy of Big Fish.”
People would be like, “Wow! Now I can see why that Bonanni kid went to film school. He really knows how to dissect a movie.”
I tried it out yesterday at work and the first response I got was, “Wow! That’s exactly how Peter Travers described it.”

I stink but I guess that’s what I get for watching a pirated copy of Benjamin Button that was purchased from a woman named Delicious. (or maybe that was Crazy Eye’s maid…I think the Urban Pirate’s name might be Precious…… I always get them confused)