Its My Birthday Too Yeah

Well all the planning and work paid off. Kyle's party couldn't have gone any better. The rain held off long enough for people to enjoy the patio, beer and Fransky. Kyle played with some awesome babies and ate hot dogs and cake. What more could you ask for on your birthday?

There were nothing but smiles all around. Lots of hugs. Lots of kisses. I have the best friends and family in the world. I sorta hope there really is a heaven so when all of these people die they can enjoy eternal bliss.

Today we take Kyle to his first Phillies game for his birthday. Kristen is in the shower now but shortly she'll be making a sign for the boy to hold up at the game. I'm beyond stoked. Unfortunately Kyle's namesake is pitching. Oh well I'm off to find out what a 'Preferred Parking Pass' is.

I Gotta Rock.

I brewed my first beer. I let it ferment for two weeks and last night I put it in the bottles with soem sugar to add the carbonation. It should be ready to drink in 4 weeks. I love pumpkin ale!

Kyle's partyis Saturday and the house is a million years from ready. I'm really stressing myself out over this.

Red

Last night I worked hard in the yard and sweated a lot. I came in, took a shower, watched the Phillies and gave my boy his goodnight bottle.

After my wife and kid went to bed I layed on the floor with my dog and stayed up way too late reading a great book. I cried at the end.

It may have been the perfect night.

Smiles await you when you rise

Being a parent is so stressful sometimes. If I’m not worrying about Kyle, I’m thinking about him in some capacity. This weekend we went out to lunch and then stopped at Target to get a shower curtain (because I had the super awesome idea to rip out the existing doors from the shower and replace them with the more traditional tension rod system….. I’m sure this project won’t take 15 hours and leave me bloodied and unconscious on the bathroom floor at some point [this would have already happened if Kristen wasn’t there to catch me when I slipped]) , We stopped at Ron’s first and Kyle was hanging out in his seat eating puffs and the whole time I had to keep an eye on him because I was worried he was going to choke. Then in Target he started rubbing his eye because he was tired and it got all red. I swear we were ready to airlift him to CHOP because we thought he had some strange case of Pink Eye. Its crazy. He is completely dependant on us for every aspect of his life. I think I’m doing a good job but I always have this fear that I could be doing something better. I don’t know. This is just a bunch of rambling with no real point so I guess I’ll leave it at that.

Last night was a scary night. Sometimes after a night of heavy drinking (Dewar’s, Pabst, Mickey’s) I get really weak and shaky the next night. Last night was one of those nights. I kept getting images of crazy stuff in my head and I fell asleep really scared. I really should cut back on the drinking…..and the pointless blog entries.

Its Outta Heeeeeeeeere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are three people that I trace my love of baseball back to.

The first would be my father who taught me the mechanics of the game. How to generate power in your hips, how to stay down on a ground ball, keeping your shoulder in there, use two hands……
My Dad bought me my first glove and would have catches with me after working a full day and being dog tired. I learned how to throw a knuckleball because of him. He coached my Farm League team and never missed a Little League game.

The second would be my Little League coach Creighton Knowles. He really refined my mechanics and taught me about the philosophy of the game. Creighton made me a pitcher and helped me develop a curve. He would also teach me about “good outs” and fouling bad strikes off. He brought a whole new dimension to the game.

The third was Harry Kalas. Kalas was the voice of the Phillies for me. He really showed me how to be passionate about the game. He made it OK for a grown man to cry when your team wins the World Series. I would curse FOX and ESPN broadcasts because I would have to find a way to get some AM reception so I could hear Harry. Based on some rough calculations I would say there are only about 4 people whose voices I’ve heard more than Harry’s. Some people may think its silly that I am so upset about a man I never met but he played such a powerful part of my life that I don’t think I can ever forget Harry the K.

I still feel numb about yesterday. I’m sure this feeling will fade but for now it almost feels like a part of my childhood has been taken from me. I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy listening to a Phillies game as much as I did before yesterday. I feel that I’ve lost a good friend who will always be missed.

Next time you're found, with your chin on the ground

There's a lot to be learned, so look around

Just what makes that little old ant

Think he'll move that rubber tree plant

Anyone knows an ant, can'tMove a rubber tree plant

But he's got high hopes, he's got high hopes

He's got high apple pie, in the sky hopes

So any time you're gettin' low'stead of lettin' go

Just remember that ant

Oops there goes another rubber tree plant

When troubles call, and your backs to the wall

There a lot to be learned, that wall could fall

Once there was a silly old ram

Thought he'd punch a hole in a dam

No one could make that ram, scramHe kept buttin' that dam
So any time you're feelin' bad'stead of feelin sad

Just remember that ram

Oops there goes a billion kilowatt dam

161 To Go!

Well Opening Day was awesome (aside from the actual game). Actually overall the whole weekend was fantastic. Kristen and I headed down to Citizen’s Bank Park on Saturday for the exhibition against the Rays. We ended up spending about an hour in the parking lot enjoying some canned domestic goodness and never really made it to our seats. We picked up a shirt and Phanatic book for Kyle and I picked up my free media guide and World Series Pint Glass Set (which is the Pete Incaviglia [I just had to google Inky’s name to get the spelling right and I never knew there was a “g” in there…..thats what she said] of pint glass sets…..its thick sturdy and gets the job done…… I love it)

After picking up the rental on Sunday (my car still isn’t finished and at this point I hope they find some sort of structural damage and its totaled) we went food shopping and then I made my way home to do some yard work. I cut down a bunch of trees and bushes. I felt like a real man.
I made Schmitters for dinner which were amazing. I can’t believe fried salami changes the whole dynamic of the sandwich. Then Kyle and I settled in for some pregame and World Series Highlights. My lil’ man was pooped by the time the game started but managed to stay up until 9:30 ( I think he secretly knew it was a big occasion). Once he went to bed Kristen made some Crab Fries with Cheese Sauce which were out of this world.
It was a successful evening

Even though the Phil’s lost I have to say that this may have been the best Opening Day ever!

Love is in the air........

Its been a long time since I've posted so here is the quick recap of the worst two weeks of my life.

Last Week:
Monday- I get rear ended on my way to work (and not in a sexy way). Some awful looking atrocity named Alicia the Hut slammed into me at about 3o MPH. Her car was totaled, I drive a tank. Thank goodness Kyle wasn't in the car.

I have to take off work and spend most of the morning/afternoon in the Emergency Room. They tell me I have back spasms, give me some muscle relaxers and send me on my way. I proceed to have interesting conversations with family, friends and doctors regarding my level of stiffness and giggle like the immature boy I am.

Tuesday- Try to go to work but after 2 and a half hours I head home because I can't sit in a chair anymore.

Wed- Work stinks

Thursday- Take the kid down to CHOP for a kidney evaluation which includes putting him to sleep, inserting an IV and giving him a catheter. I cried and I never want to see my child sedated again. It was the worst. On the plus side I got charged $13 for a stupid half a sandwich and cup of soup at Au Bon Pain so at least I have that going for me.

Friday- Check engine light comes on in the car.

This week
Monday- Car barely makes it home from work because it accelerates even when my foot is on the brake. Oh and Kyle is up screaming throughout the night. Awesome!

Tuesday- Kristen takes off work because Kyle has a Killer cold (Lemonade).

Wed- I start hacking at work and realize my baby's mutant cold has infected me.

The car is no longer functional and I have it towed to a garage which is perfect because we have tons of extra money to pay for this.

That night I wake up at 1:45 and can't get back to sleep until about 4.

Thursday- I can't breath and the medicine leaves me feeling dopey. Take Kyle to CHOP for more kidney stuff. Another catheter but no sedation. Better than last time.

Friday- Today I feel even worse than yesterday but can't take off because I missed so much time these last few weeks between the accident and Kyle's appointments. I took the dog to the groomer and got ridiculed because he had poo stuck to his but and mats in his hair. Great!


Oh well we have meaningful baseball on Sunday! I plan on getting Kyle a lil' jersey, making Schmitters, making hot dogs, drinking Schmidts and eating Crab Fries all day on Sunday. If I remember I may even take some pictures. Its my baby's first Opening Day and (even though he won't remember it) it is one of the things I was looking forward to most when I found out Kristen was pregnant.

I'm also working on getting Kristen to let us take the baby to the exhibition game on Saturday which would be HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll try to pick up my top ten shows list either later today or next week.

And the hope that I never see your face again Is anything but questionable.

It has been quite awhile since I’ve done some posting in this here Blog Cabin so I’ll try to get as much as possible in.

I guess I’ll start by catching up on the last few weeks. Here are the highlights.

-My birthday was awesome. I got a Blu-Ray player, the Phillies DVD box set and a smoker. I got to eat Nathans Hot Dogs and kraut for dinner and watch Shaun of the Dead at night. What could be better?

-Kyle had a pretty bad doctor report so now we have to go to CHOP in Philly two times over the next two weeks. They are doing all of these invasive tests which makes me tear up just thinking about.

-Went to Monster Mania with Lubber Lang and had a blast.

-Noah restricted my viewing of his blog. Total bummer.

-I’ve been watching way too much MLB TV and actually loving the World Baseball Classic

I guess that’s all the big stuff so we can move forward……..

Well yesterday was St Patricks Day and it made me feel older than I have in some time. We had a great night. I made the best corned beef and cabbage I’ve ever eaten and we spent the night on the couch watching TV.

That was it.

I guess I’ve come to expect so much from my feast day but now that I’m getting older it doesn’t seem as important. Here’s an example. This is my St Pats from 4 years ago.

Woke up at 6:45. Picked Frank up. Dropped Kristen off at school. Got to Jakes for pitchers of green beer by 7. Kristen met up with us at 10:30. Ate corned beef and cabbage at Jakes. Headed home at 4. Drank a case of Guinness. Watched Good Will Hunting. Went to Rex’s at 8. Ate mushrooms at midnight. Got home at 2:30. Sat on the porch and drank Killians until the sun came up.

I guess I think about times like that and realize how old I really am. Not that I have a problem with my life now. In fact I couldn’t envision a better situation. I am happily married. I have the greatest kid in the world. I own my house. I watch TV on a really nice TV. I even have a little fluffy dog. It really couldn’t be any better.

I guess I just realize staying up all night and doing hard drugs isn’t an option anymore. Not that I would choose that option but it was always nice knowing it was there.

I will miss your heart so tender; And I will love This love forever

I’m feeling pretty sick today. I feel like I’ve been puking for hours and my stomach is just worn out and tired. It isn’t because of drinking and I haven’t been eating especially weird. It just kind of has me feeling uncomfortable. I hope it’s nothing because I need to eat me some BBQ tomorrow!

The weekend was pretty awesome. There was a “Daddy-Baby Day” yesterday which involved playing, eating burritos, going to Circuit City, watching King Kong and taking some naps. It was everything I had hoped it would be.

Saturday night saw me drinking just a bit too much at the in-laws and then engaging in some Seinfeld Scene It. I was afraid I would make a fool of myself but thankfully Mark took it upon himself to divert all attention away from me and my intoxication. While attempting to reach over the game board he let out a muffled grunt and some liquid shot out of his mouth. It was too amber to be puke but too chunky to just be beer. It was fantastic. It went all over the coffee table, the game board and the game pieces. To make it extra special was that everyone’s attention was focused solely on the board when it happened. Everyone saw. ( I even think my kid gave him the finger out of disgust) So that alone would have made my weekend but it gets just a tad bit better. Most people would quickly try to clean up their mess but Mark chose a less tactical route. He leaned back down looked around and pretended that nothing ever happened. It was glorious.

Well played Mark, well played indeed.

On to other news……
I plan on adding a new feature to Why is Queen Still Plating? or I In Meat Pie (whichever title you prefer) and that feature is The Backseat Baby Experiment. This is where I discuss what type of music Kyle really digs on while riding in my backseat. So without further adieu I present the initial installment of The Backseat Baby Experiment

Today we listened to ‘You Are Free’ by Cat Power. I wanted something slow in my weakened state so I went for one of the most heartbreaking records I’ve ever heard. Kyle kept really quiet and eventually fell asleep. I noticed that he was looking out the window a lot (especially after playing Good Woman on repeat 4 times) I think he liked it but next time I play some Cat Power for him it may be around nap time and not in the car.
I would rate it as successful

Say inertia creeps........Inertia creeps and she comes

I was in Edinburgh once and I have to say it is my favorite city in the world. The city is dripping with gothic history in a way I’ve never experienced before. There were amazing Cathedrals and seedy bars. It really was everything I could ever want in a city. I was there in high school with a group of people including my first real girlfriend who had just broken up with me. I was destroyed. This city lent itself perfectly to my dismal mood and I would spend nights in a local bar sipping beers and smoking unbelievably strong cigarettes. I distanced myself from the group and found myself dining alone more often than not. One morning I got out early and found a small restaurant serving blood pudding. One of the best meals I’ve ever had. I spent the rest of the day exploring old monuments and crumbling castles. I stopped in a pub and ordered haggis and a Rum and Coke. The bartender asked if I wanted light or dark rum. (that alone should make this the best city in the world) It was such a melancholy place and it suited me perfectly. I hope I get back there one day.
So why am I thinking about Edinburgh this morning?
Well I was listening to the new Frightened Rabbit record and realized that a record this good and depressing could only come from Scotland. Than I thought about Mogwai and The Twilight Sad and realized that these bands can bring me back to Edinburgh with great ease.
It made me smile.

Anyway, enough with the hooplah. On with the Friday theme. I believe we are on my seventh greatest show of all time………

7. Massive Attack (Electric Factory) 9/11/1998

I had just got to school and I had absolutely no friends so I spent a lot of time taking trains to the city to check out shows. I saw Less Than Jake, Jurassic 5, Pearl Jam, Mustard Plug, Digger and MU330 during this crazy time. I flew solo to pretty much all of these shows but it is Masssive Attack that sticks out. I fell in love with Mezzanine during the summer of ’97 and was dying to see them live. I took the train down from West Chester and got to the Electric Factory roughly 4 hours before the show started. I wondered around the city ingesting questionable things and eating even more questionable things. Finally 7 o’clock arrived and I got in. ( I should note that I hate the Elecric Factory. It is the worst venue in the city and should be avoided at all costs) The place looked amazing . There where curtains draped everywhere and the back half was roped off. I would say that only about 100 people showed up but that didn’t stop the rock. I was blown away with the opener (Angel) and it just picked up momentum from there. I remember feeling like I was on hard drugs (or at least harder ones than I currently was on). It was the first and only show that made me feel that good.

After the show I crashed at my friends apartment in South Philly and they all made fun of me for being so moved by a trip-hop show. Fun for all!

I’ve been good, I’ve been busy I’ve realized my friend’s true intentions Cut all ties

Yesterday was about as awesome a Wednesday as anyone can have. I guess the main reason for that was the kid. He was totally gnarly. It all started with him waking up really early (6:15 I think) but not crying. Instead he made these really amazing cooing sounds. I peeked in on him around 6:45 and he had his legs straight up and was forcing both hands into his mouth. Absolutely adorable! As my morning routine dictates I packed the car up and then went in his room to get him around 7. He was all smiles and giggles and even gave me a little laugh when I got my morning baby hug. After changing him he started sticking his tongue out while grinning,

All of that is beyond cute but once we got in the car he really brought his A material.

I usually listen to some sort of Sports Radio in the morning because I always figured that it would be more relaxing for the kid. Last week I started putting music on and Kyle was a little indifferent towards it. So far I’ve tried Johnny Cash ‘Live at Folsom Prison’ (loved it), Miles Davis ‘Kind of Blue’ (loved it), The Lawrence Arms ‘Oh Calcutta’ (seemed a little scared) and Bruce Springsteen “Nebraska’ (no reaction at all). Well yesterday I put on ‘Emergency and I’ by The Dismemberment Plan and the kid went nuts. He started cooing along with ‘What Do You Want Me to Say?’ like he was singing along. I looked in the back seat and he was just smiling and singing. Then he got real quiet during ‘The Jitters’ like he understood that it was a slower sad song and then by the time ‘You Are Invited’ hit he was looking out the window and laughing. It was one of the most amazing experiences I’ve had with him. I’m thinking that he’ll respond really well to harmonies so next week I’ll try ‘Pacific Ocean Blue’ and ‘Abbey Road’. I’m excited.

I guess he is at the age where something new happens everyday so I’ll try my dardest to document it here.

To avoid being bored to death Please avoid this post

Big three day weekend! I haven’t got much to say (except my spelling and grammar stink) so I’ll give the quick recap in Bullet Point Fashion!!!!!!

Friday
-Work
-Dinner at Rino’s with 3 25 oz Yuenglings and a Greek salad with anchovies
-Kyle wasn’t as excited as me about Rino’s and spent the whole time with a frown on his face which veered into whine territory a few times.
-More Yuenglings at home with ‘The Soup’
-Passed out about a half hour into Friday the 13th. (apparently that movie did big business this weekend but I doubt I’ll ever see it. I’m in no way anti-remake but I don’t see any need for it and it will most likely just be a waste of my time……unlike Jason X)

Saturday
-I ruined Valentine’s Day
-We went to my parents house in Jersey
-My grandmother farted really loud.
-I ate an anchovy pizza. Second anchovy encounter in two days!
-We got home really late

Sunday
-Lottery tickets
-Ribs
-Heineken
-Baileys
-Bed

Monday
-We took the kid out to Lancaster to pick him up some stylin outfits which must include safari animals.
-We went to the Olive Garden for unlimited salad and soup only to have our plan foiled by a jealous little dude. I should note here that I will never be one of those parents who allow their kid to cry in a restaurant. I’d rather kiss my farting grandma than let that happen (I’ve actually kissed my grandma before but that’s a story for a different day). I can’t stand the way people look at the parents of a wailing child. But I guess its unavoidable since we got some heated stares from some morally just individuals when we decided to stick out the 15 minute wait in the Olive Garden bar. How dare we bring a baby into the bar? I know. I know. We are awful people.
-Cashed in the winning lottery ticket and promptly refreshed our supply of Yuengling.
-Smoked a bunch of chicken and watched Gran Tourino.


That’s it. That was our wild weekend.

Gran Tourino- C

Man I had lofty expectations for this. Clint. Racism. Violence. If that isn’t a recipe for fun than I don’t know what is. Clint overplayed the angry old dude role and the story was way too simplistic to be effective. There were some boring subplots that built up to an overly predictable finale. The only reason this didn’t get a D was because of the gems that good ol’ Clint would throw out there from time-to-time and all of the love shown towards Pabst.

"American Pie" Most Pretentious Song Ever or The Reason Catch 22 is the Worst Band Ever?

I hope you involved in a fiery wreck while taking your pregnant wife out to dinner. I hope flames engulf your stupid truck and that awful novelty bumper sticker turns into a molten plastic liquid that finds its way into your eyes rendering you blind. This way while your wife is screaming from the heat that is now causing her skin to bubble you won’t be able to see her but you try to make your way toward the screams but your misjudge your footing and step on her neck causing that piece of broken glass to dig that much deeper into her esophagus making her last moments of life that much worse. That is what you deserve for have the audacity to purchase a bumper sticker that says, “I drive like this to piss you off”

Spring Training starts tomorrow! I need baseball in a really bad way. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about watching my boys taking the field. As an added bonus I got my Opening Night tickets yesterday and will find myself firmly planted in Sec 105 on the evening of April 5th. In honor of the beginning of spring I’m going to give my ultra bold predictions for the 2009 season.

AL West
Angels 82-80
A’s 81-81
Mariners 78-84
Rangers 70-92

AL Central
Tigers 83-79
White Sox 79-83
Twins 78-84
Indians 74-88
Royals 68-94

AL East
Yankees 102-60
Rays 96-66
Red Sox 92-70
Blue Jays 80-82
Orioles 74-88


NL West
Giants 84-78
Diamondbacks 81-81
Dodgers 80-82
Rockies 74-88
Padres 73-89

NL Central
Cubs 99-63
Cardinals 88-74
Reds 86-76
Brewers 86-76
Astros 84-78
Pirates 64-98

NL East
Phillies 94-68
Nationals 90-72
Mets 89-73
Braves 85-77
Marlins 85-77

ALDS
Yankees over Angels 3-0
Rays over Tigers 3-2

ALCS
Rays over Yankees 4-2

NLDS
Nationals over Cubs 3-2
Phillies over Giants 3-2

NLCS
Phillies over Nationals 4-0

World Series Rematch (lowest watched in history)
Phillies over Rays 4-1

Hows that for some bold predictions!

Well back on track with my Friday theme……..

Mogwai (Starlight Ballroom) 5-11-2006

I believe this was my third time seeing Mogwai but the first in Philadelphia. It was really a miniature bachelor party of sorts because I got married nine days later. I had purchased three tickets with the assumption that my brother and Kristen would like to come along but neither seemed interested so I took my good buddy Frank. We hung out at his house before the show and watched the Phils dispatch the Giants 4-1 (for some reason I distinctly remember Utley homering, doubling and getting hit by a pitch) while enjoying a couple of beverages. We mixed up some Gin and Cherry Coke and headed down to the city.

Once down there parking was brutal and we drove around for almost an hour while enjoying our drink. Finally I got waved down by a homeless gentleman who encouraged me to park on the sidewalk. I asked him if it was OK to park there and he said it was his living room so it would be fine.

We gave the third ticket away and got in right as Mogwai started. Frank kept sneaking drinks from the bar area to the main floor so we got to enjoy some beers while watching Mogwai absolutely destroy the room. Apparently the air conditioning wasn’t working at it felt like a dutch oven in there (smelled like one too). I rocked harder than I’ve ever rocked before. Here was the set list:

· yes! i am a long way from home
· friend of the night
· travel is dangerous
· killing all the flies
· helicon 2
· acid food
· i know you are but what am i?
· ithica 27o9
· ratts of the capital
· glasgow megasnake
· hunted by a freak
· mogwai fear satan
encore:
· helicon 1
· we're no here

As a result of my stellar park job my car was basically ruined. The brake light was permanently on, the key would not come out of the ignition, I had a flat tire and I could not get it into park. It took me almost 3 years and $1350 to get it back to running condition but man was it worth it.

Things have changed things have changed forever

My face is red. My eyes are sore. My mouth is dry. My gut is screaming. My head feels light. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, I am hung over. In a glorious way. Last night wasn’t a glamorous affair. No sir, it was a gritty wake-up-at-3-am-with-an-overly-full-bladder-but-knowing-if-you-get-out-of-bed-you’ll-puke type drunk. It was the kind of drunk that only malt liquor served in 40 oz bottles and garnishing the designation of ‘High Gravity” can get you.

There it is. We watched some Sixers (I believe that me watching basketball is one of the signs of impending Armageddon) Lost and my new favorite show Man versus Food. I got to bed incredibly late and was up way too early. Today is not being to kind to me. Well at least I have some meetings to discuss market trends and client appointments. I’m sure they won’t notice the under lying scent of ghetto on my breath. The fun never stops.

Believe it or not I was not always a big drinker. The first time I ever drank was when I was about 14 or 15. My parents went away for the weekend and left me at home. My girlfriend at the time stole a bottle of Tequila from her parents and we went to town. I remember she left really early so I called my best friend to come over and we drank the bottle and watched ‘Blown Away’ (the Nicole Eggert version). We both passed out on the couch. (it was a lot like that Wonder Years episode where Kev-Bo’s parents are out of town and Winnie falls asleep on the couch…..and yes I too told all the guys in the locker room that my buddy and I did the deed….much like Winnie, my buddy was shamed and there was no way I could fix it). He woke me up around 2 in the morning and I proceeded to get sick everywhere. Being the great friend that he was he left me there on the floor and stumbled back to his house. I remember crawling up the steps to my bedroom only to be woken up 20 minutes later by the doorbell. I made my way back downstairs leaving a trail of vomit behind me. It was my buddy at the door. It turns out he was too drunk to get the key in the hole so he had to call his Mom to unlock the door. While he was on the phone I fell outside and got sick all over my front porch. My buddy left me there and the next thing I know its 6 am and the paper boy is asking me if I’m OK. Oh I should also add that I was wearing nothing but a pair of tightie whities (hey I was like 14…gimme a break). I would have loved to have seen this through the paperboys eyes. He rolls up to a house to see a kid practically nude on his front porch surrounded my puke. I called out of work the next day and went to see Event Horizon by myself. I was the only dude in the theater and I spent most of the movie dry heaving on the seat next to me. I don’t think I drank again until college.

So at least I didn’t wake up on my front lawn this morning but its still pretty bad.

I think today might be a double post kinda day because Spring Training starts on Saturday I haven’t even commented on it. Yeah I’ll post later but first……

--------------BABY UPDATE--------------------------

Kyle is my new favorite thing. I play with him from the second I get home to the second he falls asleep. His favorite thing is when I roll him on his side and I kiss his lil’ ribs while screaming “I’m gonna eat those baby back ribs” If he only knew what I was saying. Instead of screaming with delight he should be screaming with fear. I mean if there was some huge beardo threatening to eat my body I’d be a little nervous. Oh well tis the life of a lil’ awesome dude.


OK off to meeting #1.

Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me

The water still stinks and I am dead tired. I learned yesterday that the reason for the strange taste and smell of my water was due to the melting snow carrying salt and debris into the Brandywine River. There is no need to worry because the EPA tested it and everything is A-OK. So even though chemicals, salt and garbage have found their way into my drinking supply I should still use it to nourish a newborn. Fantastic.

I smell bad because my shower stinks and I couldn’t eat my oatmeal because even boiling the water leaves a funky taste so I stink and I’m hungry. On top off all that it’s Wednesday which is usually my worst day of the week. Kristen works Monday through Wednesday so on those days I wake up around 6 to get ready and drive the lil’ guy over to my father-in-laws. I am really not good at waking up that early and by the time Wednesday hits I am more tired than Tom Hanks at the end of Philadelphia. Yes you could say I am low white blood cell AIDS tired which is not a fun place to be.

On the bright side since Kristen is off tomorrow we generally celebrate with some drinks and an overall fun night. Plus I get to watch Lost which these days isn’t much to get excited about. I mean how do you create a show dealing with philosophical issues like faith vs science and destiny vs free will and then over the course of four seasons dumb it down to the point where Cheech Marin is trying to outwit police officers while his 879 lb guerrilla son attempts to revive an Iranian mercenary who was hit by some tranquilizer darts while escaping the clutches of a self absorbed corporate mogul who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Oh yeah and then there is time travel just to add to the realism of the whole thing. Bravo JJ Abram’s. Most people take a turd and try to pass it off as genius but you’ve managed to do the exact opposite.

On a much lamer note I am going to try and get Billy Joel and Elton John tickets today. I can't believe how awful I have become. I listen to classic rock radio, never miss a Breakfast with The Beatles and George Thoroughgood has replaced Lucero as my favorite drinking music. I guess it's a little weird. I think this may be a topic for another day 'cause I gots to get soem work done.

Take off. I gotta "re-educate" some of the brothers!

OK so I think its really bizarre that I titled my last entry ‘wooder’ and then last night had another wooder related incident. It scares me.

A lot. (but more on that later)

Yesterday morning I poured myself a tall glass of ice wooder (which I was really looking forward to after a Sunday afternoon/night filled with Clan and Cokes and 25 oz lagers) only to find it tasting like a rusty penny that was once cleaned with harsh astringents and then rusted back over. It was awful. I then noticed that my dog wouldn’t even touch his wooder bowl. I got in the shower and tried to bath myself using this stink which was an epic failure.
I figured I would go to work and if the problem was still there when I got home I would have to make some calls. So I get home and of course the wooder still stinks like the rot of death so I do what any white privileged individual does in a situation like this.

I call 411.

I tell the automated voice I am looking for the Downingtown Wooder Authority. Unfortunately she couldn’t understand me so I get passed off to Maria. Maria proceeds to ask me if I’m looking for the Downingtown W-O-O-D-E-R Authority. She actually spelled wooder out like I needed the Brawny man to show up with an axe and form fitting jeans to take care of me. Yes Maria, that’s what I want the Downingtown Wooder Authority. See Maria, that’s why you are answering information calls and I have a home with a wooder problem.

The difference being the capacity for deductive thought and logical reasoning.

I finally get in touch with the Wooder Authority only to find out I’ve missed them due to their ultra convenient hours of 7-3. Good work guys! So Kristen made the trek out to pick up some bottled wooder while I got to feed Krazy K his string beans, give him a (stinky) bath and read one of my personal favorites, Just Like Daddy. It was pretty much the most killer night of all time.

Well I still don’t have any semblance drinkable wooder so calls will be made this morning. Although I did read that there was a new beheading in The Land That Time Forgot (the middle east) so I really hope the two aren’t connected. I mean it would be logical to start with a senseless beheading and then move on to the wooder supply of my quiet Hamlet of Downingtown.

Oh well…….
Off to make some calls.

And I almost forgot. I saw two movies this weekend.
Zack and Miri- B
Benjamin Button- A+

Both were really good and much better than I expected. Kevin Smith made an adult comedy with all the juvenile humor that I love. Then David Fincher knocked it out of the park. I mean I thought Alien 3 and Panic Room were good but Benjamin Button was better than both. ( I know its hard to believe but its true!) I came up with this really cool line that I was planning on wowing all of my friends and co-workers with when describing Benjamin Button. Here it is, “It was a more mature Forrest Gump mixed with the over-the-top fantasy of Big Fish.”
People would be like, “Wow! Now I can see why that Bonanni kid went to film school. He really knows how to dissect a movie.”
I tried it out yesterday at work and the first response I got was, “Wow! That’s exactly how Peter Travers described it.”

I stink but I guess that’s what I get for watching a pirated copy of Benjamin Button that was purchased from a woman named Delicious. (or maybe that was Crazy Eye’s maid…I think the Urban Pirate’s name might be Precious…… I always get them confused)

Wooder

I got to wake up with Kyle this morning which is a rare treat on Thursdays and Fridays since Kristen stays home and I have to work. Anyway he was doing this new thing where he sticks his tongue out.
Absolutely adorable!

So its Friday and I actually posted on here every day I worked this week. Color me impressed. TO keep the momentum going and offer some focus I think for the next 10 Fridays I’m going to list my top ten favorite shows of all time. It fits the theme of this since the only reason I write is to document my life so here are ten shows I never want to forget. I’ll start at number 10.

10. Coachella (Empire Polo Fields) 4/30/05-5/01/05

This is when I realized that I didn’t really like the whole festival atmosphere. After years of sitting through 20 minutes sets and enduring indifferent crowds at Warped Tour, Surf and Skate Fest, Lollapalooza and The FEZtival I should have known better but for some reason I expected that flying across the country would make it different. Unfortunately it didn’t.

So if the musical experience wasn’t the greatest what business does Coachella have being on my Top 10? Well I’ll tell you.

My brother, who was 19 at the time, and I got a ride to the Philadelphia Airport and flew from PA to CA. We watched all of The Fresh Prince and Seinfeld California themed episodes on the plane. I listened to a ton of Old Time Radio shows like Suspense and The Whistler. We got to drive around LA and see an adult film shoot, eat at an In n Out, roll through Compton blasting NWA and show up to a club to see The Rentals only to find out the club had closed down.

Then we drove 4 hours into the desert in a huge Oldsmobile while listening to the sugary sounds of the Beach Boys and Weezer. We drove through some truly depressing areas that made Jamaica look like Beverly Hills. Then out of nowhere a small commercial strip appeared with our hotel, tons of fast food and some top rate touristy shops. We picked up Il Polo Loco, some Cuervo and checked into our plush Days Inn.

We woke up real early and drove to the Polo fields making a stop at Denny’s for breakfast. I ordered a country fried steak (nothing screams a California vacation like a country fried steak at Denny’s) and a glass of water. The waitress gave me this really strange look and said, “We don’t really have any of that.”
My brother and I assumed she meant that the water was bad so my brother canceled his hot tea and we both got juice. When the waitress brought our breakfast out she told me that she had asked the cooks and no one had ever heard of “wooder”. Yeah my South Jersey accent does me in again.

So we get to the show early and walk the mile to the gate. As my brother likes to point out we were the 3rd and 4th people to enter Coachella 05. I would also like to add that we were next to two of the most awful people in line. Here is my Day 1 recap:
We got in and chose The Sexy Magazines over Boom Bip. After about 47 seconds we headed over to the Boom Bip tent and were blown away. I had never heard them before but instantly fell in love with their organic electronic sound. Next we headed over to the Main Stage and saw an amazing set from Buck 65. Yet another artist I had never heard before and am now a huge fan. We also saw afternoon sets from Rilo Kiley and Snow Patrol. I ate a huge sausage while my brother checked out Wilco and enjoyed some grilled corn while Bauhaus played. We got to lounge on the grass and listen to Keane. We worked out way up to the main stage for Weezer and hung back for Coldplay. All the sets seemed pretty generic with the exception of Coldplay. They really gave it their all. I also picked up a Buck 65 album and my brother promised me he would stay awake while we listened to it on the drive back to hotel. Of course he fell asleep and I could barely keep my eyes open. I’m amazed we made it back there alive. That night I fell asleep with an Old Milwaukee in my hand which spilled all over my bed.

We avoided Denny’s on Day 2 and made it straight to the In n Out to enjoy the best fast food I’ve ever ingested. My brother also had to use their facilities. We ate at the Polo Fields parking lot and I sipped from the bottle of Cuervo. The Futureheads where opening the day and I really wanted to check them out so we left the car with just enough time to get to the stage for the beginning of their set. After walking the mile to the gate I realize that I left the tickets in the car. So we head back and instead of sprinting back to the gate we turn the car on, blast the AC and down the bottle of Jose. We had a good talk and it may be the most memorable moment of the trip for me. We got in and just laid in the grass listening to Sloan. It was nice. I saw great sets from New Order and The Fiery Furnaces (where there were only like 30 people). I got up close for the Bravery and stayed way back for the groundbreaking Arcade Fire performance. Coachella dropped the ball on the scheduling by having Nine Inch Nails, The Faint, Blood Brothers and The Locust all playing at overlapping times. I made an attempt to run from tent to tent but was way too tired at that point so I settled for most of Nine Inch Nails and the end of The Faint. Bright Eyes ended the night in awful fashion by playing songs from the Digital Ash album.

The next day forgot my DVD player in the hotel and we had to turn around which made us almost miss our flight. We made the plane as it was boarding and I slept the whole way home listing to the Eels.

So that’s it. My Coachella experience. The music sorta stunk but I’ll have tons of stories for my kids.

Famous Jerks of Film Land

As a result of the passing of genre legend (and all around awesome dude) Forrest Ackerman there will be an auction of his memorabelia collection. There are some truly unique pieces being offered including:·

Dracula ring worn by Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula. It's the single most important Lugosi/Dracula screen worn piece to EVER come to auction.

· Bela Lugosi's robe from The Raven is the most important 1930's horror costume to EVER come to auction.

· A cape made for Bela Lugosi in 1932 and used many times for his stage portrayal of Dracula. Lugosi then wore the costume in Plan 9 from Outer Space.

· A first edition of the book, Dracula signed by Bram Stoker and inscribed by Bela Lugosi to Forry Ackerman (also signed by a host of other Dracula-related personalities).

· Fritz Lang's monocle, which he wore when he directed Metropolis. This was given to Forry by Lang:

Personally I think this is pretty sad. I mean it would be nice if a museum could be set up in his honor with these priceless treasures on exhibit for the world to enjoy. Another option would be someone financing a traveling exhibit that would go from horror con to horror con. I guess it just saddens me to think that this priceless collection that meant so much to Forry will be divided up and sold to the highest bidder.

Flat out depressing.

In other awful horror related news......

Lux Interior passed away yesterday as a result of a preexisting heart condition. Lux was the lead singer of one of the most influential bands in the modern horror infused music scene, The Cramps. For me The Cramps rank right up there with the Misfits as modern legends

I just wish that I had gotten into The Cramps at an age when I was still going to shows because I never had a chance to see them. I think I'll put on some 'Big Hit from Badsville' tonight.

12 Inches of Snow

ot a lot more snow than the forecast …..well forecasted. Of course this had me up early sweeping of walkways and cars, which is something I normally enjoy but it seems like I’ve been at it 5 times in the last two weeks. This has to be the first winter where I actually dread the snow. Little things are really starting to annoy me. Like when I get into work and I see all of these fooligans with their windshield wipers in the “up” position. This is a fairly recent trend that I noticed about 5 years ago. No one has a real solid reason for it but they will quickly condemn anyone who isn’t in the know. I just want to smash all of them with a baseball bat (the car owners and the windshield wipers) I just can’t wait for all of this cold weather to be over so I can get to work on my yard.

I’ve always hated yard work but since having Kyle I really want to get everything in order so he has a nice yard to play in and we have a nice place to sit and eat at. This requires me to complete rip up miles of flower beds and then install a flagstone patio. I’ll leave this spring either completely proud or looking like Brooks after he got out of Shawshank. Either way will leave me feeling pretty good.

‘Lost’ is on tonight.
I’m pretty stoked.

No Bodies Ever Knew....

My father-in-law was pretty sick yesterday so I had the daunting task of calling out of work, watching some movies and sitting in front of the fireplace with Kyle all day. It turned out great. I watched three movies

The Hellbenders (B)
Duck, You Sucker (C+)
Companero’s (A)

Two Corbucci’s and a Leone. It really doesn’t get much better than that. I love Leone but Corbucci is slowly creeping up on him in my book. I mean Leone makes epics but its tough to devote 3+ hours to a movie when you can through on two Corbucci’s in that time.

Kyle was great and took a few naps in between laughing and being amused by Brodie. Kyle also got his two solid meals in the form of Oatmeal and Green Beans. He really seems to enjoy both of these and it somehow makes him seem more human when he’s sitting in a chair eating from a spoon. I can see why he digs on it so much too. The Oatmeal is pretty sweet and comforting while the Green Beans have this bland but nutritious taste. I mean I wouldn’t eat it but he seems to enjoy it. Speaking of which, I used to go to school with this girl who would eat baby food for lunch. It used to annoy me so much. I’ve never seen such a blatant attempt to draw attention to one’s self. Granted she also used The Smashing Pumpkin’s B-Sides box-set as a lunch box and would wear really awful dresses so I guess its to be expected. Oh and of course I dated this awful excuse for humanity. It was only for a few weeks in my junior year of high school. In actuality she was a pretty sweet girl. Really nice and uber into me (and I’m not being conceded here she invited me to Pesto night with her grandparents the night we started dating. Nothing says loving like some Pesto served with the heavy aroma of death and moth balls in the air) I would also like to add that by the time we started dating she no longer ate pureed vegetables or used novelty boxes to hold her lunch.

The other cool thing (or not so cool depending on your point of view) is that I used to play Magic: The Gathering with her friend so he would tell me all this crazy stuff she would say and do.

So why didn’t this ideal relationship work out? It is as simple as Italian hoagies. Her parents owned a huge sub shop and she would help out on a daily basis. I’m not sure how or why but she ALWAYS smelled like an Italian hoagie with no oil but a generous helping of mayo. It was really crazy because one day I picked her up from the sub shop and took her to her house so she could shower before we went out. She actually smelled worse after the shower. The only time I ever brought her around my friends only confirmed my worst fears. My buddy Jim was playing drums in a band so I took her to one of his shows at a local bar. They had a band van so after the show Jim loaded up his drums and we headed to a diner for coffee and cigarettes. We were in the car for no more than 24 seconds and Jim starts asking me if I had a half eaten hoagie laying around. He wouldn’t let up either. He started looking under his seat, in the glove box, under the visors….everywhere looking for the phantom hoagie. It was a really awkward situation because I was never sure if she knew that she smelled. Needless to say we were broken up by the time I dropped her off that night.

I guess that’s what you get when you date a girl who eats baby food.

If your going to shoot....then shoot!

It has been quite awhile since I’ve updated this thing and I blame the complete lack of focus and direction. From now on I will try to focus solely on three topics. Really the three ‘B’s’ of life. Baseball. Booze. Babies. So there it is I will relate all future stories and entries to the following three categories. Hopefully that will set me back on course.

Before I do that there are just a few things I would like to throw out there.

On Thanksgiving I went to see the Eagles play the Cardinals. It was just me and my dad and I was completely sober. I haven’t been sober at a sporting event since I was like 6. Anyway it was a great time and something that will stay with me forever. My dad did have some choice quotes though.
(to the guy next to us) “Did the score 3 or 7 in the first period?”
(to the guy sitting behind us) “When is that drunken moron going to sit down?” (the drunk moron happened to be his brother)
I would also like to comment that the atmosphere at the Linc is akin to a prison break without the shanking but with more aggression towards woman.

Kyle had his first Christmas and it was most righteous. He got lots of presents. I got lots of drunk. Win-Win.

Ok so now that that is out of the way I plan on picking this back up on Monday with a renewed pointlessness and a heightened sense of bad writing.

Pitchers and Catchers
16 Days!