Things have changed things have changed forever

My face is red. My eyes are sore. My mouth is dry. My gut is screaming. My head feels light. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, I am hung over. In a glorious way. Last night wasn’t a glamorous affair. No sir, it was a gritty wake-up-at-3-am-with-an-overly-full-bladder-but-knowing-if-you-get-out-of-bed-you’ll-puke type drunk. It was the kind of drunk that only malt liquor served in 40 oz bottles and garnishing the designation of ‘High Gravity” can get you.

There it is. We watched some Sixers (I believe that me watching basketball is one of the signs of impending Armageddon) Lost and my new favorite show Man versus Food. I got to bed incredibly late and was up way too early. Today is not being to kind to me. Well at least I have some meetings to discuss market trends and client appointments. I’m sure they won’t notice the under lying scent of ghetto on my breath. The fun never stops.

Believe it or not I was not always a big drinker. The first time I ever drank was when I was about 14 or 15. My parents went away for the weekend and left me at home. My girlfriend at the time stole a bottle of Tequila from her parents and we went to town. I remember she left really early so I called my best friend to come over and we drank the bottle and watched ‘Blown Away’ (the Nicole Eggert version). We both passed out on the couch. (it was a lot like that Wonder Years episode where Kev-Bo’s parents are out of town and Winnie falls asleep on the couch…..and yes I too told all the guys in the locker room that my buddy and I did the deed….much like Winnie, my buddy was shamed and there was no way I could fix it). He woke me up around 2 in the morning and I proceeded to get sick everywhere. Being the great friend that he was he left me there on the floor and stumbled back to his house. I remember crawling up the steps to my bedroom only to be woken up 20 minutes later by the doorbell. I made my way back downstairs leaving a trail of vomit behind me. It was my buddy at the door. It turns out he was too drunk to get the key in the hole so he had to call his Mom to unlock the door. While he was on the phone I fell outside and got sick all over my front porch. My buddy left me there and the next thing I know its 6 am and the paper boy is asking me if I’m OK. Oh I should also add that I was wearing nothing but a pair of tightie whities (hey I was like 14…gimme a break). I would have loved to have seen this through the paperboys eyes. He rolls up to a house to see a kid practically nude on his front porch surrounded my puke. I called out of work the next day and went to see Event Horizon by myself. I was the only dude in the theater and I spent most of the movie dry heaving on the seat next to me. I don’t think I drank again until college.

So at least I didn’t wake up on my front lawn this morning but its still pretty bad.

I think today might be a double post kinda day because Spring Training starts on Saturday I haven’t even commented on it. Yeah I’ll post later but first……

--------------BABY UPDATE--------------------------

Kyle is my new favorite thing. I play with him from the second I get home to the second he falls asleep. His favorite thing is when I roll him on his side and I kiss his lil’ ribs while screaming “I’m gonna eat those baby back ribs” If he only knew what I was saying. Instead of screaming with delight he should be screaming with fear. I mean if there was some huge beardo threatening to eat my body I’d be a little nervous. Oh well tis the life of a lil’ awesome dude.


OK off to meeting #1.